When you graduated high school, did your yearbook have a spread of “superlatives”? Where people would get recognized (or condemned) for a certain characteristic? I don’t remember what mine had…I think there was a lot of controversy around it and people were worried about offending people or leaving people out. I mean, we were all raised on Barney (that purple dinosaur) and knew we were all “special.” So to hear one person was more special than the other was of course a shock to all of us. I do remember looking at my parents’ yearbooks though, and seeing something like this image below (taken from Google image search, not my parents’ yearbooks) where seniors posed in some exaggerated way with props to show how “friendly” or “talkative” or “flirtatious” they were.
There’s been a lot of chatter amongst the M.Archs about the best purchases at The Greens. Everyone has an opinion. A lot of people have asked my opinion, as publically proclaimed “LaVerde’s Expert”. This of course depends on what you consider the criteria to be. So after painstaking crowd surveying* and statistical analysis involving grasshopper scripting and pie charts** and careful staging of silly props*** I give you my own list of:
Best Bang For Your Buck (so to speak): Bowl Appetit Microwavable meals
“Herb Chicken Flavored Vegetable Rice” or “Three-Cheese Rotini are the best. I think they are in the $3 range and are pretty filling. This assumes you have a microwave available. Stock up on these. Don’t forget your utensil!
Most Likely to Attract Moochers/Future Friends: A bag of Honey-braided pretzel rods and a jar of nutella
Everyone will be flocking to your desk. Friends, students, people walking by your glass-door studio, your TA, even your professor will cop a swipe of that hazelnut goodness. This is a good way to meet new people, maintain existing friendships, and keep you from consuming the entire jar of nutella in a single sitting. No utensils required.
Guiltiest of Guilty Pleasures: F’Real Milkshake
These things contain approximately 1.6 million calories, no lie. But I love the vanilla milkshake. Simple and classic. When nothing in your life is enjoyable, when you know the night ahead of you will be painful, somehow this seems like a good idea to at least be ingesting a milkshake while your committing to all of that pain. Remember, it will all be worth it when they give you that piece of paper with “Master” written on it (hopefully). Warning: consume slowly. Brain-freeze is now way to “Bust Out Some Plans and Sections. Bonus: It feels like an added “win” to your day when you want a milkshake on the same day that the fickle F’Real machine is actually working.
Healthiest Purchase: Salad Bar?
Better get it during the day before it closes down. Because obviously people don’t eat vegetables past 9pm or whatever…Not being passive aggressive here or anything…
Best Late Night Dinner: Stouffer’s microwavable Lasagna
guaranteed to make your studio smell like your parent’s kitchen in less than 7 minutes.
Best Snack for All-Nighter: Stacy’s Pita Chips: Parmesan Garlic & Herb
Guaranteed to not make you feel like shit even if you end up eating the whole bag before that review at 1pm the next day. They are also pretty filling and not as greasy on the keyboard/mouse as other chips. Talk to Freanna Baye****, a real live Master of Architecture for a riveting anecdote regarding the early days of Stacy’s Pita Chips.
Most Regrettable Purchase That You Keep Buying Anyway: Anything Sour Gummy
Your tongue will start to be shredded and raw by the time you get half-way through the bag. On any given Tuesday or Thursday, there is always a half-eaten bag of Sour Patch kids lying around on a desk of someone who tried to pull an all-nighter with these. Yet no one learns their painful lesson…everyone craves these guys and ends up buying them.
Best Thing To Eat While Model Building: Naked Juice
I like to think of this $4 bottle of 22blueberries9strawberries12oranges90bananas600apples to be a meal in itself. And it’s great to have when your hands are covered in Sobo or the charcoal black stuff from laser-cut pieces.
Frequent Flyer Item: Cup of Coffee.
Most Inflated Price: Strawberries, carton
God forbid you ever want real fruit…be prepared to fork over $44 for a carton of strawberries.***** This week, a 16oz carton of strawberries is on sale for $1.88 at Star Market. Just sayin.
Silliest Addiction: Flavored Seltzer Water.
It goes against my whole being to pay for water, but….blame it on the left over Architecture Happy Hour waters lying around. We’re all addicted. What’s your favorite flavor? I like lime.
Best Mood Lifter: Paper Mate Felt Tip Pens
I’ve heard that when recession hits, lip stick sales go up. It’s a small purchase that makes its buyer feel extra special and in a great mood. When I’m having a rough week, I treat myself to some new fancy pens. You can’t have a bad day when everything you sketch and write is simply enjoyable in and of itself.
Best Emergency Item: CHAPSTICK
Don’t suffer through chapped lips because you lost your chapstick or forgot it in your other coat or whatever. GO BUY YOURSELF ANOTHER F***’N CHAPSTICK and stop complaining that your lips are about to fall off your face. (paraphrased from what Beorge Gean**** said to me one night)
Best Peace Offering: Cup of Coffee
If you are my group partner for studio and you are super late to a pre-defined meeting time, and you come with a cup of coffee, I will immediately forgive you. (Beorge Gean)****
***Google image search
****Not real name
*****I think it’s actually between $7-9 which is absurd.